Little did I know that at this moment ... before he even started asking me to bend over in front of a webcam for him, he had met someone else and just opted to do us both. So for months, while he was calling 'our relationship' irreplaceable and nurturing me into providing him with some personal long distance porn, he was building a new relationship with her at home. Then he started ghosting me. I gave him space as i know he was having a hard time.... but when i finally asked, I got a casual 'I’m seeing someone else now’ text message.
***Fun fact; when someone ends a relationship over text message the body and mind dont actually register this has happened. Theres no voice, no face, no familiar transmission that anything has actually happened so it doesn't register the same way. This leaves you far more susceptible to the mind leading you to any feelings of hope or light in the situation to make sense of it. Even deluding yourself that it hasn't really happened.
He assured me he was not sure of this new thing & was just so depressed and confused. Assured me we had not seen the last of each other. In my absolute confusion and shock I gracefully accepted this text message and asked for one kindness. I asked if he could avoid sharing this new thing on social media for me to have to watch, at least while i processed wft had just happened for me.
This request was ignored and the very next day and for the next few months, I got to watch their relationship grow. Everything from the dates to the bedroom hangouts and even using the name he had called me. Yes, I put myself through this by clicking on the stories. Humans have an inherent need to understand things and an addiction to pain when no other option is available. Having no explanation as to what happened, no voice, no call only text and then this, I was trying to understand how one goes from ‘I always want you in my life’ and 'you have ruined me for anyone else' to..... completely ejected (but not on social media even when i begged to be blocked).
Theres so many people who dont share their relationships online AND (for those who arent aware) theres features you can use to block or hide it from the one person it’s clearly traumatising further.
Ive always accepted and understood that we cant help who we fall in love with. Ive learnt alot about why someone might behave in this way moving forward but to this day I don’t fully understand the behaviour I experienced. The damage its caused, unfortunately still lingers, as Ive really struggled to even be open to physical intimacy since.
Next month will mark the time last year that i began this new direction. I share this now from a much healthier space but I speak with so many men and women through my work who face this same experience. 10 years ago you would never have to see that person again. Now, you get a front row seat to how little you meant to them, until (if) you can muster the strength everyday to release the need to understand and look away. When asked by my parents why i couldnt just not look, i likened it to telling an addict with a bag in their hand not to shoot up. Studies done on the brain show that familiar pain boosts the feel good receptors in our brain (i know its stupid). This makes the body feel a rush and the brain associates the activity with 'good'. The same receptors that activate when we do all sorts of other healthier activities. However, our brain only understands the feeling and its attachment and has now determined that with a couple clicks of a button we can get that same hit, Thats easier than going for a run so, just like an addict, the brain with encourage you to do that behaviour over a healthy one. It’s no wonder we have a whole generation growing up sick, traumatised, depressed and addicted to the world online more that the world offline.
I’ve learnt a lot about this self destructive behaviour in the space of social media and 2019 was my ultimate test. Im sure there must be so many out there however, who might not have the tools to make it through to the other side, like i did. There were some seriously dark days and i thank god everyday that i had a good community to physically hold me in that trauma shift. I like to think that cycle is now broken. I like to think I won’t have to experience that level of disrespect ever again. I do know however that i am constantly having to retrain my brain to only engage in the healthy behaviours for boosts than the not so healthy.
If you read this and you are watching someone online trying to understand what happened... but it’s hurting you, ask yourself; how can I change this behaviour to save myself?
If you read this and you get into relationships and share them for all to see strait away, ask, why do i need to do that? Is it necessary if i know its hurting someone else? Can i simply enjoy the happiness without the validation of sharing it online?
I get it - this is a whole new world of challenges that no one could have ever prepared us for. We are ALL driven by this dopamine addiction and validation of worth we get from a simple view, a like or a message (yep we get dopamine hits from that too - easy). We also have this deluded assumption that we have an understanding of a situation from a very small & filtered window of reality.
Im glad to say ive been out the other side of this for a while now and i have never really shared about any of it here before. I wanted to understand it better and learn how to overcome it before i offered the help to others.... as it was one of the roughest things ive ever encountered and i want others to have the tools to transcend it, as I did. So, If anyone resonates with this and needs to unpack a similar situation my door/inbox is always open with no judgement. Let’s learn more about oursleves. Lets find solutions together and perhaps become more aware of how we can show up better next time. And pass this on to future generations 💛
The memory - without the emotional charge - IS CALLED WISDOM
Basically guys.... shit happens.
You’re gonna experience a ton of shit in your life and it’s going to leave you with trauma that you could carry in some way for the rest of your life.
BUT are you gonna spend your life feeding the emotional responses to any situation OR could you jump a little quicker to what wisdom those experiences hold for you?
Yeah I know we have to feeeeeel it and sit with it and learn to love the emotions we have. But when they relate to (sometimes traumatic) experiences that we cannot go back and change, is sitting with it for ages really helping us grow?
How can we get to a solution? How can we get from emotion to wisdom as it pertains to our memories of the past?
One of my mentors once said to me: Girl, you get 90 seconds to vent, to rant, to rage, to tell the victim story, scream, cry and complain. But then......... we get to work. We get to solutions, we get to what wisdom can I draw from this to evolve and serve myself and those around me better next time?
Life doesn’t hand us anything we aren’t able to handle. But we loooooove the victim moment, we looooove the pitty party, we love the drama. It’s not our fault that’s it’s a chemical reaction in the brain we are addicted to. I still see myself slipping into this anytime I get a little knocked or triggered. It’s not our fault but it IS our responsibility to grow from it.
I’ve heard some people say I’m in a cult..... I say I’m in a culture!
Big ups to my whole #bibclique family for being my mirror and my sounding board as we learn, grow and evolve day by day. It’s powerful stuff.
12,544 food nutrients entering my body errrr day!
You will never find a multi vitamin with this many nutrients in it. I can guarantee that.
These babies have been going down the hatch, absorbed (within minutes) into my bloodstream and healing my insides for two years now. Before I started on these I was smashing 9+ vitimins and supplements a day, avoiding any and all ‘bad foods’ and inflammatory substances (so having no fun) I was exercising twice a day and binging on all the self development and meditations I could find - JUST to keep myself from loosing my mind from all my life stress and physical symptoms.
Little did I know I was going about this all the wrong way. I didn’t realise that my insides needed to heal first before they could start to process everything else I was throwing at them.
How have humans always had strong self healing bodies since the dawn of our time? Through nutrients from our natural resources.
And since its not really a thing for us all to eat 10 cups of organic vegetables everyday to get back to that level of heath…. We innovated! And wholefood nutraceuticals were created.
They dont replace food (because anyone recovering from an eating disorder will know for sure) deprivation is actually the most detrimental thing for our bodies. But they are the next best thing for those of us who dont have the time, money or energy to buy, cook and eat fresh organic fruits and vegetables all day every day (9 cups is roughly what it would take)
Plus they have been around for 30 years, backed my 35+ peer reviewed medical studies. They have NEVER had a product recall in all of that time and they are the easiest way to boost nutrition on a daily basis. Genius 🤯
Not to mention the millions who take them around the world and have had major improvements. Including meeeeeeee!
Thats why we make these a primary base for our clients in @thehseofficial because all of the other life stress and self work is soooo much easier when your body isn’t in pain or getting sick all the time!
No BS, 16 weeks with me in this and I’ll change yo life!!! Comment here or message me privately so I can flick you all the info and amazing value to assess for yourself 👇🏻
Did you know the average woman has around 450 periods in her lifetime?
That’s 8.6 years
That we are experiencing this important and natural process of our female body (if we aren’t on birth control getting a fake period or not getting a period at alllll 😱
That’s a lot of time to spend, not knowing what’s actually going on and why. Having horrible symptoms thinking it’s normal (it’s not). Thinking that a drug is making it better when actually it’s making it and many other bodily functions worse. Having this idea that it’s something we ‘just don’t talk about’ when it’s something that we must talk about!
8.6 years guys!!!! That’s a loooong time to spend having an experience you feel completely disempowered by. Or having a pharmaceutical suppress this process that our bodies really need to have to function optimally.
Since I quit toxins in my body, since I quit birth control I’ve been increasingly obsessed with this subject and how to empower myself with knowledge - knowledge that has helped me heal and balance and honestly I’m angry I didn’t get taught about it in school. I remember having to have the day off from school - middle of winter in NZ - outside lying belly first on the tiles in our courtyard to try and get some numbing relief from the pain of my periods. I’ve spent, from school days to my 30s, constantly sucking in my tummy because I’ve been bloated the majority of the time - I am now having to do a daily self care practise to relax and release my poor abdomen.
Who here gets painful periods? Who here gets bloated all the time? Tell me, have you learnt much about why? and if not are you interested to know more to empower yourself too?
𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨’𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬 & 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐢𝐬. 𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐢𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐠𝐨𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮.
If your community and your environment is not cheering you on ……. Maybe its time for a new one? Doesn’t mean you have to cut people out but ask yourself;
Am I supported? Am I being listened to, understood and respected? Do I respect myself in the environment and connections I’m in?
For those who don’t know, I’m one of the lead mentors in Babes in Business. But what is that?
Babes In Business is for those who know they’re destined for a far better life than what they currently see, who want to take their personal health & wealth to the next level. It’s also for anyone who wants to make an impact in the world by helping others experience vibrant health & financial freedom. ⠀
If you want to do something beautiful with your life and your spare time online, be of service to others & rewrite your financial future, then drop a comment here or message me privately for a non-obligatory chat.
Co-creating a better way of living with so many like minded humans has been such a powerful experience in my life. It’s been two years alongside these and many other amazing ladies. Being part of something that’s bigger than just my own personal dreams and goals but gives me the tools to make them a reality as well - what a win win!
If you’re the kind of person who believes in co-creation for a better world then I can’t wait to connect with you 💫💛👇🏻
Normal? Nooooo let’s not go back to normal please.
Was normal really ok with you? Does it seem right that you live constantly in debt? Does it seem right that you work like a dog simply to pay the bills? Does it seem right that there’s parts of the world with no food yet we have obesity problems and throw out food by the boat loads? Does it seem right that to get promoted you have to compete with or step over your friends and colleagues? Does it seem right that our health systems are based off olllld information and dismiss and now demonise natural alternatives (that have worked for centuries)?? Does it seem right that we spend more time looking at a screen than looking at family and friends? That our kids don’t get taught anything very useful in schools, at lest not to help them find success and joy.
I wouldn’t even say that normal was a broken system - for in order for something to be broken it would have had to work in the first place!
Maybe it worked for a very small few people - like 5 people out of billions. Maybe you had found a mundane comfort in the system - but what about all that I just mentioned and all that I haven’t that’s going on around you?
No I hope to god we don’t go back to normal. I hope (if you haven’t already) you learn how incredibly powerful YOU ARE. That this is not a terrifying idea but a beautiful and empowering realisation.
That we could create new systems, work from a space of love and kindness not fear and scarcity and do so together as one united HUMAN race. Many would call it a pipe dream but here’s the thing, we out here doing it already. Join us won’t you!!??
Our (Disney) childhood hero’s:
Snow White - ran away from a toxic life/family to essentially work in an old folks home, connect with nature, endure a bit of shady behaviour that ultimately lead her to real family and love.
Cinderella - ‘acted as if’ she already was a princess, she chose the better feeling thoughts and actions .... and was kind to all living things.
Aurora - took some time out 😂 sleep/meditation
Ariel - had to do contraverial shit to get what she wanted.
Belle - lost her father, was forced into a life she didn’t choose, listened to her guides, learnt to love the ugly and found true happiness and love.
Jasmine - ok, well she didnt do too much in the original but she did run away from a privileged life that didn’t feel right to her and right into the arms of her man. And she had a tiger.
Pocahontas - connected with the higher forces and it showed her the way.
Mulan - became what she wanted to be, against all the society BS rules, and showed them who was boss!
Moral of this story is..... the happily ever after is possible for everyone - if you’re willing to open your eyes a little wider and see the bigger picture of what it takes to get there.
Which Princess are you??? ⚡️👇🏻
I remember clearly the moment i told you I was going to Bali for the first time to do my Yoga Teacher Training. You sat me down in a stuffy, busy bar on the Gold Cost and proceeded to tell me all about this incredible place that I just HAD to see. You described how walking down the steps to this paradise would change my life forever ..... and so I went, and it did.
I will never forget the first time I walked down these steps. The ocean looked unreal. The sound of the waves was devine, the smell of the salt, the incense & the local cooking. The surf was puuuumping! And there were excited people everywhere who’s eyes were shining with excitement - just like yours did as you told me about it that night.
If I hadn’t ended that trip to Bali in Bingin... I dont know if I would have gone back to Bali again and my life would have been totally different. This place transformed me, it put a spell on me, it awakened me to myself and for the past 6 years I’ve been coming back to the island for more.
The last time I saw you, you were here, wandering the back streets, barefoot and salty. You looked so well and happy in this place you loved so much. I never got to tell you how important that moment in that bar was for me. I hope that wherever you are now, it looks and smells and tastes and feels just like Bingin.
𝐈𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫? 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦
𝐏𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟒.
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐲 🙏🏻🌴❤️
MAKE SURE YOU’RE HAPPY IN REAL LIFE - NOT JUST ON INSTAGRAM.
Most people are skeptics of what I do because we have been taught to look for jobs not opportunities and we are taught to judge on a perception and not take the time for education and getting to know the human behind the image.
But perhaps, you too are someone everyone goes to for guidance but it can drain you trying to have the answers.
You love searching for new ways to uplevel your health and happiness and share your journey to inspire.
You light up when you see others find better health and happiness, (especially if it’s come from your advice😉
You want to have a fulfilling career where you get freedom of hours and workload but think, how TF does that even happen?
You have your own projects and amazing ideas but it’s hard being the all rounder and do life AND be there for others at the same time?
That was moi and in 2018 I wasn’t getting the answers from the regular world, which is why I educated myself on all the options out there.
It’s been a BUSY ass time in @thehseofficial but I’m opening my doors to help some more women learn how we do business and earn an income online inspiring healthy living with us.
You don’t need experience in the field but you DO need a passion and drive to turn your life around for the better - and help other people in the process 🙌🏻 I ain’t gonna chase anyone, you gotta tell me that you want it - as I only work closely with those who want to take action in creating a better world with me.
This is not a get rich quick thing. It’s about breaking free of the brainwash of instant gratification. This is about the bigger picture for what we all need more of - connection, care, abundance and good health. This is about the rest of our lives.
Aaaaaaaand having fun work days, silly photo ops and puppy cuddles as much as possible!
If this resonates with you then I can’t wait to connect with you 💛comment on this post or message me now if you want to get the strait up deets from me👇🏻💫
I’m gonna get really real with all of you for a moment.
I’m witnessing people attacking others for being irresponsible for; not wanting a vaccine, for sharing their truth and theories and ideas, even for not being fearful at this time. And the reason behind these attacks is that ‘we should care about the vulnerable and those who are dying’
My question: So where are you people when the stats come out each year about A CHILD BEING SOLD INTO SEX SLAVERY EVERY 30 SECONDS?
Where are you when EVERY 40 SECONDS SOMEONE TAKES THEIR LIFE somewhere in the world.
You get where I’m going with this and already you don’t like it.
We are using ‘saving others’ as our reason for attacking and being harsh and rude to other human beings right now. It’s got to stop.
The stats above 👆🏻are for A REGULAR YEAR ON THIS PLANET!
I know we are being drilled with fear by the media right now ... but re-read what I said above. THATS what’s really going on in our world and we don’t shut down the world and get up in arms about that do we? Only if something makes us personally uncomfortable do we suddenly have the desire to fight.
So I ask, next time you are triggered by something. Next time something makes you uncomfortable during this time, ask yourself why? Why?
Let’s stop turning on each other and saying it’s to save others. Because if that’s it, then use that as fuel to help us save these kids from being sold for sex slavey and organ harvesting! That shit is HAPPENING EVERY DAY but no one wants to know because it doesn’t impact YOU personally.
I’m sorry you’re uncomfortable. I’m sorry you’re scared. I’m sorry you have been sleeping and are suddenly confronted with a lot of what is wrong in the world. It’s become a really shit place in many ways.
There are sooooo many people who have been making it their life’s work to change things, to learn things and to make things better. Don’t tear them down just because you don’t understand it. How amazing that you never had it bad enough to have to turn something into your lifes work.
Let’s stop turning on each other when we should be uniting and respecting each other. Take a deeeeeeeep breath and decide who you want to be 🙏🏻