Not everyone wants to be looked at but everyone wants to be seen. EVERYONE WANTS A BETTER LIFE, FEW WANT TO BE BETTER PEOPLE. TELLING THE TRUTH AND MAKING SOMEONE CRY IS BETTER THAN TELLING A LIE AND MAKING SOMEONE SMILE. Everyone wants the truth but no one wants to be honest.
(CAN YOU HANDLE THE TRUTH?) Sometimes you need to step back and refresh yourself as to why you want to be doing any of this in the first place. And that goes for anyone, in any line of life OR business. Its important to take time, to reset and gather your intentions for yourself and others. As a child I always knew. To be open and honest and kind As a teen I tried to continue this but I was pushed down and left behind. As an adult I adopted armour to hide away who I really was. Until so much pain built up from experience I decided to direct it to a cause. The more I step into this the more Isolated I seem to be. Already I experienced this separation when I realised I couldn’t drink alcohol excessively. My honesty, My different words, ideas, suggestions and challenges. Unfollowed, unfriended, rejected, blocked for being me, I thought so often …. am I damaged? I have a guards up in interactions with both women and men All because of past abuse that I left unhealed, just to get through them. I have a longing to belong and yet a realisation that perhaps I don’t belong in just one place - one destination. Ive been told to give up, to just go back to normal life, to try something less honest, and release all of the strife. But the thing is, all I ever wanted was normal …. What im doing now, I don’t have a choice because I know theres more to this life than meets the eye. For I cant unsee what ive seen. I cant unhear all of the pain. The suffering and dissatisfaction and disconnection in the world remains. Love, the most healing emotion of all, yet theres a lot of people in the world who don’t know what love can feel like. To be seen, adored and heard. I cant imagine having the family that Ive seen in all my dreams In a world where no ones doing at least something to make a world for them worth being in. And I cant have felt the pain and loneliness for so so many nights and years To have nothing to show of them but the memories of my tears. Its been an ongoing, developing self sacrifice that can make me sad, but also serene, knowing that if all else I may give one person hope or a smile in their moment of pain. Because to somebody who’s hurting - something is everything. So through the road of trials ive come im determined to be me, ID RATHER BE SOMEONES SHOT OF TEQUILA THAN EVERYONES CUP OF TEA